We'll take a stroll through the ACTION section this week. Let's look for something a little more recent. You know the 90's were pretty great. Grunge, Power Rangers, AOL, Furrbies.....and Brian Bosworth movies. OH YES!! High five! Everybody's favorite Seattle Seahawk of all time! I found a Boz movie right here, check it out.
"Revenge is everything". Sweet tagline, bro. You can't get anymore red-blooded American than Boz pointing a gun at you in the name of the American flag. You grab the Yoo-hoo, I'll take this to the check out counter.
One Man's Justice was released in 1995, originally under the title One Tough Bastard. I actually like that title better and can only assume that it was changed for marketing purposes. How can you NOT market a film with Brian Bosworth as the star? THAT IS ALL YOU NEED TO TELL THEATER CHAINS! "Brian Bosworth is in it? HELL, GIVE ME TWENTY COPIES!!". Director Kurt Wimmer has also been the man behind films such as Equilibrium and Ultraviolet. The story here is that Wimmer didn't actually finish the film. Producer Kurt Anderson took over before completion, but Wimmer still gets credit. As already noted, it stars Brian Bosworth as the main character, "Sgt. John North". Boz's most notable film up to this point was the awesome undercover cop/biker film Stone Cold, which I saw at a drive-in movie theater with my brothers back in 1991, so he has a soft place in my heart. Also starring as the villain is Bruce Payne as "FBI Agent Karl Savak". Allow me to produce a photo of Mr. Payne as Karl Savak.
He is a rogue FBI agent. You can tell he's rogue because he has an awesome mullet and nose rings. Mr. Payne has been seen in such other notable films as Passenger 57 and Warlock III: The End of Innocence. I'm a fan after seeing this film. Jeff Kober stars as "Marcus", a total scumbag working with Agent Savak. Kober was probably most recently seen in the TV series Sons of Anarchy as "Jacob Hale, Jr". I choose to remember him as serial killer "Patrick Channing" in the film The First Power. Last, and certainly not least, this film has employed the services of....are you ready......MC HAMMER!!! Yeah, boiiiiiii, that's right. Motherf%&**in' HAMMER stars as "Dexter Kane", the local crime boss. If you have both Brian Bosworth and Hammer in your movie, shit just got real.
Marcus (Kober) and his boys are parked behind the Canyon Grocery & Grill in broad daylight, trading weapons for money with a military man. This works for me because behind my local Kroger you can see deals like this go down all the time, if you know where to look. Marcus shoots and kills the army guy, but it's witnessed by a little girl, who happens to be Sgt. John North's (Bosworth) daughter. This leads to a hostage stand-off inside the Canyon Grocery & Grill. Mrs. John North is shot and killed before Sgt. North arrives on the scene on his way home from being a hard-ass drill sergeant teaching recruits various ways to kill a man. North sees his wife's car, stops and gets out, and the cops just let him walk right in there, obviously recognizing his bad-assery. Marcus ends up shooting North, who passes out and slips into a coma for eight weeks. Marcus gets bailed out of jail by Agent Savak (Payne) and put in witness protection, because Marcus was purchasing the weapons for him. North wakes from his coma and finds out his little girl is still alive, or as the conversation goes here "She's alive, right?" with the response "Technically." That's cold. Anyway, the little girl dies and North is overcome with grief and revenge. North finds out that Savak has taken Marcus under his protection and confronts Savak. The conversation ends with Savak stating "You do NOT want to f--- with me!", and Boz wins our hearts by retorting "Yeah....I do."
So the revenge plot is weighed down heavily by the subplot of Savak attempting to recover these mysterious military weapons that were lifted by a punk gang. North gets involved in this subplot, with the assistance of a 12 year old street tough named Mikey (Dejuan Guy). Meanwhile, Savak and some crooked members of the FBI are actually using the weapons to set up mobster Dexter Kane (Hammer) for a downfall. By the end of the movie, the plot involving North's revenge for his family is forgotten, and motives are muddled.
The movie was stupid as hell, and it was great! Over-the-top villainy from Bruce Payne as Savak had me pronouncing him as the show-stealer here. He had all the best lines of dialogue and really made Savak a slimy piece of crap who you wanted to see killed. THAT is what I want to see in a b-movie villain. He carried this movie. Bosworth was no slouch either. He shows up for one scene wearing khakis while beating the crap out of a gang of punks. He gets some good lines of dialogue also and he gets to emote a little when he's trying to do the right thing in front of young Mikey. Solid work from the Boz.
All in all, a great film for all the wrong reasons, exactly what we're looking for. Go ***1/2 on this.
Oh, what's that? You want some samples of the fine dialogue? Let me close out this review with several pieces of cinematic excellence:
1. Savak: Let me explain the situation. I have spent the last 36 hours snorting whiskey, drinking smack and shooting cocaine.
2. Savak: You're gonna be in my dog and pony show until the pony dies, pony. What do you think this is, Monopoly?
3. Dexter Kane: The only way you'll be talking is through one of them straight up psychic bitches. Savak retorts: Then I guess I'll be telling you how yo momma is sucking my dick in Hell!
4. North (on his cell phone, before taking on five punks by himself): Hello, 9-1-1? I'm going to need (dramatic pause).....five ambulances.
5. Savak (disguised as a motorcycle cop): It's illegal to drive dead, sir. (shoots man in the car).